Moralize.us alpha 
ged
last seen Feb 2nd, 2011
Smoke Marijuana
Ronald Reagan smoke it just before him go pon television. After Margaret Thatcher visit him she bring some back to England, then distributes it equally throughout the house of commons.
don't keep the doors locked so no Pakistanis roll up in my crib and sit on the couch and smoke pot all day
You don't have to leave in fear. If you need help communicating your need for solitude to your Pakistanis, you might even consider hiring a translator from a freelancer service.
steal an OEM CD-ROM of Windows XP
Only if you destroy it afterwards.
don't burn a copy of Windows XP
Every time you boot windows, God jacks one off. (and spills the seed)
don't burn flags of other countries
It's more fun when it's someone local. Except the US flag, of course. This can be enjoyed by everyone, like Coke.
lose the game
You choose what you play for.
don't break into homes, but not steal anything
Why then? Is it something like parkour, just with an extra lockpicking and sneaking phase?
don't regulate the Internet
It defeats the major strength of a decentralized network
use the Internet
I need my blagotubes!
don't shield your kids from the Internet as much as possible
They'll need as much information as possible about the world they've come into.
make fun of people who use Windows and don't know any better
Tell them that noone in your professional circle even considers using non-free frameworks and operating systems in their production workflows.
drop acid
At least once. Or not.
don't call neil young a retard for putting south down
While the south is hilarious to foreigners, it can be pretty disappointing to anyone who has had the slightest expectation from it.
don't base your furthur moral judgments solely on the answers you got on this site for your questions
No, no, bad.
disobey your boss
After all, you're probably in a better position to plan the work you do than someone with their attention to managing people.
don't take a shit on your boss's desk
If you're so cracked up, better pick up your pieces, quit peacefully, and take a year off to find yourself.
throw pennies at cars from a bridge
Sure. You'll also get to meet interesting drivers. Definitely must be tried once!
push a fat man off a bridge in front of a speeding train to stop it from killing five people
Ok, now this in the scenario you popped from out of nowhere and said "I'm a time traveller, right, five people, Michael Moore, sure thing", and I would give it a go. Otherwise I'd wait for McGuyver to execute the plan.
don't call a teacher fat in a foreign language they don't understand
That's kind of beside the point, isn't it? If it's truly your message, it needs to be understood.
don't fuck your friend's girlfriend
Only if he done with it!
fuck your busty teacher
Now if only I could get her to wear that paper bag...
don't decline all responsibility for your life
It's the only thing I have real control of.
allow Google to construct real AI
You just try 'n stop it.
Constantly feed your computer/internet addiction
You need the hair of the dog that bit ya!
use an old computer
They're fun for decorative mini-installations!
don't send all niggers back to slavery
No, don't send all niggers back to slavery. Plus, I doubt you'll find any niggers that have actually been slaves to have somewhere to go back to.
use cookies
Cookies are needed, too. Man can't live on forms alone!
ignore people online
Someone is WRONG on the INTERNET!
use your real name online
It's good to build a nice, wholesome internet footprint and online presence. When people google you, they can see all the nice self-promoting material you have prepared for them.
spend all day online
What? Should I donwload sites for offline browsing and then disconnect?
mock people because of their religion beliefs
If your god is omnipotent, can he make a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it? Ha! Never gets old!
don't be an apple products geek
It's no fun to be a corporate whore, however nice the logo. If you're any sort of geek, read up a bit more and you'll know why.
take sides in a moral issue
It is a great filter for people.
don't have sex with a goat
No! God would give you aids. Better eat it instead.
don't preform inappropriate charms on a goat
Well, not if they're inappropriate! They will give you the bad Juju.
don't cast pearls before swine, and debate morality with people whose only moral study is their own desires
The ones that need to be debated are the ones seeking to impose their morals to others.
don't convince people that your morality is right
Morality is worthless when people don't arrive on each view by themselves. It also shows lack of security on your part on the universality of your views.
Take the trolls on this site seriously
They definitely have something to teach about people.
learn php
It's fun to be able to write and review code in various languanges. Python more fun, though.
don't rape your son
Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father Rapers! And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest Father raper of them all, was coming over to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage."
rape a nun while eating an aborted fetus
How are those cooked? Are they like shrimps? I'd rather seduce the nun away from the church instead or raping her. Then we both could snack over an open fire.
practice what you preach
Unless you believe in something really dumb, in which case you're allowed some time after stopping it to stop preaching it.
don't Practice monopoly
Monopoly needs at least two players, otherwise noone is ever going to step on your hotel.
play violent video games
Violence makes for interesting games. I keep all my nonviolence for the real world.
don't buy pirated games
You'd be better off pirating pirated games
don't be a born-again christain?
If I were to be born again, why would I be born again Christian? :p
live a sedentary lifestyle
It's where the action is
answer every question on moralize.us with a joke?
That's what SHE said!
dating the exgirlfriend(the broke up one month) of my cousin?
Your cousin isn't going to beat me up, is he?
don't rape your daughter brutally
...I don't know where to start declaring my reservations about this... Better, um, try to, make-friends-with an-unrelated-to-you-adult as-gently-as-possible.
covet your neighbor's daughter
It's ok, but after you marry her move away from your neighbor -- You don't wanna live next to your in-laws.
covet your neighbor's wi-fi
One of my neighbors has a generator so I even had access during a recent blackout! :)
hijack your neighbor's wi-fi to get internet access
Well, if it's open it's open, thanks. If it's the default, RTFM, Sucker. if it's WEP, eh, it's WEP: it must have been deliberately put there for fooling around. If it's anything better, I suppose it's fair game.
don't take a crap on a city bus
Is it an empty bus or is it a full bus?
have a local acsent when talking in another city or even country
Not just right, it's fucking awesome.
don't cum in your own mouth
Nice shooting, tho
don't be a Scientologist
Tom Cruise will come and probe you, people. Plus you might have trouble exiting the thing, it is said.
be a man and wear women's clothing
It's an ancient theatrical tradition.
seduce women
And she said "Are you trying to seduce me?"
don't believe in god
Belief should have a place in your head for things that can actually be proved or disproved by your personal experience.
play music loud on public transport (loud enough that even with headphones, the music can be heard)
Mate, what's your problem, just wait it out. It's hard to listen to music with street noise all around.
download copyrighted music
Then I can know which bands I like, and go to their concerts. And I can know which ones react badly to file sharing and see that they don't get a penny from me.
being a christian download torrent movies
Sure, it's cool if you're Christian. Oh, you Amelican! That will be 20 marks!
don't censor any form of media (music, books, movies, television, or the internet)
the only way one can defend from ideas is exposure.
don't watch TV
The whole concept of a constant stream of entertainment seems to me too passive a condition to be healty. Better to pick each thing that you see.
think too much
I like thinking. Sucky definition - Don't think of it too much, though.
ask people if things are right or wrong
One can best pinpoint at what age and with what level of protection they would fuck someone.
have a totally fucked up idea of what is right and what is wrong
It's an indicator that you're thinking for yourself and not succumbing to peer pressure. When you have your own ideas, some git is bound to find them totally fucked up.
don't make your wife ride a bike, right after you ass fucked her
Not if she doesn't want to get on the bike.
don't eat fishy pussy
WTF? Is this pussy wrapped in sushi?
eat pussy
It promotes lubrication, allows for close examination of new kittens, plus it's overall a fun activity.
eat meat
It sooo nice. Plus, circle of life stuff, you know?
pwn noobs
That's how they learn. Just don't pwn t00 h4rd
personally admire someone
It's a sign your ego is not overinflated
don't compulsively reload a website to get new information
You can just click with a little less compulsiveness on the next refresh.
don't hoard information and knowledge
If you're in a position to hoard knowledge in a specific field, even if that knowledge becomes public you are in a unique position to use it and benefit from it. Plus you gain major kudos.
don't place knowledge of "good" and "bad" on the same shelf as theomania
The concept of theomania is a totally artificial one, designed to maintain a make-believe status quo, while good and bad can at least have subjective meanings.
don't be a preacher or priest even though you know you have major moral faults as long as you are trying to do good
Surrendering your moral responsibility to any kind of institution is just too prone to corruption.
write tickets to speeders all day long and then speed in your patrol car because you know you won't get a ticket because of your badge
If you want to catch the monkey, you have to think like the monkey
write shitty music
Writing is expression. No need to try and sell it tho.
don't pirate Rick Astley's music
You should pirate nice things. That's how they become known. Plus it might even count as rickrolling
let the horse die suffering instead of finishing him off
Sorry, Black Beauty, you'll have to wait till the vet arrives and then it's mortadella time.
Let a person die suffering instead of finishing him off.
Wouldn't make the call.
don't think a person other than a signifigant other when your having sex
Except if you're at the time having sex with someone else than your significant other, in which case, why delude yourself?
blast music so loud neighbors can hear
As long as it's part of a specific denial-of-silence plan and not just me being inconsiderate
listen to "sweet home alabama"
It is the single most obvious example of how rock music can't be relied on for any kind of uniform message, but has its fair share of slack-jawed klan yokels.
be the Google Streetview car and park permanently outside someone's family's home hoping they will visit
If I returned to my family home to find an affectionate google car had been waiting for months on end just for me to visit, I'd be moved.
steal
Stealing, like buying, is one of the basic ways you can end up with stuff. Like with buying, you should be doing it only fully aware of the other party's position, whether you are going to worsen or improve it.
Break a combo
Well, it's what you're trying to do when someone's comboing on you. It raises the level of the game so it's good for everyone.
don't break DRM
It is much more effective and economically logical to completely discriminate against anything that supports it.
Have safe sex with somebody you just met
precautionary meausres, huh? Lay out the ole battlefield. Ok, I'm game. :)
don't spice up text-only sites
Some stuff is just as good without spices.
open pandora's box
It has an opening mechanism? I wanna.
don't step on bugs
It is just bad pr.
look down a girl's shirt
freedom of information!
lick a girl's feet
It's an erogenous zoooooone! (although it sounds kind of tinny)
don't be a hypocrite
Ultimately your interactions define your social environment - So if you do it right you'll manage to surround yourself with assholes you don't like and who wouldn't like you.
don't perform sex acts for money
If I didn't want to, I wouldn't do it. And if I wanted to, I wouldn't possibly think of asking for money.
make money off ads
if the advertised party is going to make a profit from your promotions, it is reasonable that you deserve a share of it.
don't apologize for something you do not feel guilty for
it would convey the wrong message about my position
warez stuff?
I can. If the games and software companies can't handle it, then they should change business models.
don't shrink HTML into a fast-loading unreadable mess
It doesn't have to be a mess in order to be fast-loading
steal from the rich and give to the poor
till there are no rich no more
cook food
Cooking is an ancient tradition that man has practiced from the dawn of civilization. You wouldn't want to miss out on that.
be the person who answers every question with "THIS IS A TROLL QUESTION AND SHOULD BE REMOVED"?
THIS IS A TROLL QUESTION AND SHOULD BE REMOVED
waste time with these "moral" delimas
"delima" is an amazing word!
stay up all night writing computer code
it is a good, quiet time to think, plus the ensuing reputation contributes to a programmer's mystique.
don't add moral code with incorrect spelling and grammar
Although it is not as anal as posting moral codes relating to your annoyance with others' moral codes, it can be just as annoying
don't use tinyurl every time you give someone a link
the original link allows the other party to know where they are being sent.